So far, I have had absolutely nothing but bad things to say about 2011 Elite. For a product that was close to, if not THE, best of the year for Panini last year, the previews so far have been beyond awful. When I say beyond awful, they make normal Panini stuff look like it was designed by 2009 Upper Deck. That’s how bad. Now that we are getting a further look into the ACTUAL cards that Panini is trying to slip past our goalie, I almost want to barf. It has actually gotten worse.

First, the focus of this product, the rookie cards, look beyond terrible to begin with. I have explained why they look as bad as they do, mainly and overwhelmingly due to the horizontal orientation and 180 point text that says “ROOKIE” in huge letters. Then, the foil serial number is going to be stamped right in the middle of it, and there will a be a HUGE white box for the auto, it becomes that much worse. Add in that they are on retina burning rainbow foilboard, and they become vomit inducing. I don’t get it. Panini says it’s a cost issue, but I fail to see how quality like this can make up for a slightly reduced cost. Its awful. They are the laziest and most lackadaisical attempt at a rookie card than has ever been released in a Panini set. They couldn’t even add the text correctly on the card.

Secondly, I cannot fucking stand these lame ass names that Panini tries to come up with for their insert sets. “Throwback threads” is one thing but “Hitlist” and “Down and Distance” are a step above asinine. I think I could hire someone that has lost part of their brain in an industrial accident, and they would come up with better names. I know, lets not name an insert set after the most mundane part of football. Down and distance? Again this year? Why don’t you just go ahead and name these cards “23 yard line” or “TV Timeout” and you may equal the level of stupidity. Legends of the Fall isnt much better, especially when it conjures memories of a mediocre Brad Pitt movie, and to consider that most of the players on the checklists will probably be legends of the WINTER instead, makes more sense. Baseball players may be the boys of summer, but Football is played most intensely during the WINTER. Additionally, I dont know what the hell “Power Formulas” have to do with football. Par for the course.

Lastly, we also see that Panini has not left Elite without an overabundance of oddly designed cards that look incomplete. Right? It wouldn’t be a Panini set unless every card had 800 parallels and no card except the autograph jersey looked like it was supposed to be that way. My favorite example is the new set that Panini idiotically flaunted called “New Breed.” Yes, you heard that right, “New Breed.” These cards, when without a jersey swatch, have a giant black box in the middle of the card. Much to my amusement, Panini couldn’t even photoshop out the border for the swatches when these cards are just normal cards. Its funny because its true. The other cards they previewed arent much better, especially the Brady Legends of the Fall, as I don’t know why we are getting such an expansive look at the fall sky on that card. Who forgot to put the sticker on? Who forgot to add the oddly shaped swatch? No one? Its not supposed to be there? Oh right, this is a Panini set, sorry, forgot.

Bottom line is that Panini obviously doesn’t care about the absolute dog shit that they call football cards. Its an insult that the cards look the way they do, especially the downgrade from last year’s great product. I cant wait to see the people’s faces when they open these packs and get cards like that Taiwan Jones below, because it could be the ugliest piece of crap I have ever seen.

I get fired up over this stuff because I am bored with what is available at this second. Panini has taken an opportunity to wow us with their first post premiere set of the year, and instead we are just left bending over as usual. Its really unfortunate, mainly because Topps is a month away and Inception is looking AWESOME. Can someone start the Topps countdown clock for me? Thanks.