Chris Johnson’s Autograph Needs To Match His Performance

Posted on 11/16/2009 by gellman

Chris Johnson is one fucking talented running back. After another 200 total yard performance last week, he is continuing to tear up NFL defenses like tissue paper. The problem with Chris Johnson isn’t something he does on the field, but more something that he does for us in the hobby. In case you are unfamiliar, Johnson has a card signature that is reminiscent of Vernand Morency, and seems to give less than two shits about what we think. His two letters (barely) and out, leaves me VERY bittersweet whenever I pull an auto of his, or see a card I would like to buy. In fact, I actually think the value of his autograph is lower because of the fact he is a jackass in that respect.

Funny enough, when you see his signature on non card items, it’s the full signature, but cards are still lackluster if not worse. I know for a fact that the companies have approached him about the stuff he signs, but obviously we have not seen the results in the cards for 2009 and beyond. There are rare instances of a full signature, but 99% of the time his effort is less than the effort Keenan Thompson puts into his characters on SNL. That takes talent.

I have avoided buying Chris Johnson’s cards from the beginning because I cant stand his signature, and I have put any I pull up for sale right away because of that same feeling. That’s a huge problem for a lot of fans out there because he is doing so well on the field. Usually when someone has a shitty signature in the past, they have been an unimportant pick with no prospects, but this is completely different.

Say he goes on to win MVP in the next few years, which could be a possibility with his talent. Immediately, the bandwagon collectors go back and try to purchase some of his cards, only to see that he has the worst signature in the last few years. That sucks for this hobby, and its even more frustrating because cards are the only thing he does it for. It also adds a whole new level to forgeries because its so hard to tell what is what.

Granted, fellow defense destroyer Adrian Peterson recently switched to a similar 4 character autograph, and that is just as frustrating. Personally, despite the number of things they have to sign, I would never have a problem giving the fans what they want in most normal circumstances, even more so when you are sitting at a table signing stickers or cards. No screaming fans, no quickness needed, just sign and be done. There is no earthly reason to shaft your fans, especially because one day, it may be the way you are remembered.

Ask people like Harmon Killebrew, Torii Hunter and Kirby Puckett, who all stood by the fact that a measure of a player’s signature is the presence of every letter. Harmon has said on numerous occasions that an autograph is just as much a part of the player’s history as their game, and to have one that doesn’t look like some effort was put into it, is detrimental.

I agree.

The 2009 Autolic Test: NFL Draft Edition

Posted on 04/27/2009 by gellman

I thought now was as good a time as any to go over this, mainly because I have a feeling that many of you are wondering. For each draft class we all pick our people. We go over the rounds and decide on a guy based on team, college, style whatever. I also know that many of you want to see an auto before you decide. Or, as I put it, whether or not the guy passes or fails your version of the Wonderlic Autograph Test (The Autolic Test). For those of you who are not familiar, the Wonderlic is a test given to all prospects at the combine to test a number of different things about their intelligence, football intelligence, etc. The Autolic test is one performed by many collectors to determine if the autograph has merit or is subject to the Morency quotient.

This year, I think we are ridiculously lucky as long as none of the players decide to pull a press pass and sign better when there are few cards to sign, and give up when there are many. Top QB autos have been very good the last few years, and Stafford is no exception. The guy is great, he should be hailed for his detail and penmanship. Nice job. Same goes for Beanie Wells, who has a great auto for his cards. Sanchez has a loopy swoopy graph, that I don’t mind, and Moreno’s isnt bad either. Harvin and Crabtree have a nice visual appeal to theirs, as well, as both should do pretty amazing when you see them on better cards.

On the other hand, Josh Freeman is a jumbled mess. If I gave you this pic and told you to pick his out, you would really have to go through a few deductions in your head before pointing the finger in his direction. Heyward-bey isnt horrible, but it is boring to me for some reason, mainly because you could practically draw a line through his sig and hit every stroke of every letter. Like I said, not horrible, just boring.

You may think that I put too much thought into this, but I will give this fact as the reason for my use of the Autolic test. I hate give up autos, and I hate weird looking autos. If the player puts no effort into it, I will not keep any of their cards. I did not buy a single Chris Johnson card last year, mainly for that exact reason.

Im sure as the card season progresses, we will see numbers added and all sorts of changes as the cards transfer from on card to sticker and back on card. However, as of now, this class’ graphs pass the test with flying colors.

THE 2008 AUTOLIC TEST CAN BE FOUND HERE

(CLICK TO ENLARGE)

New Addition To The Autolic HOF

Posted on 03/31/2009 by gellman

I was going through a thread discussing bad autos, and Geronimo Gil came up as one of the worst. In terms of bad, this is beyond awful, even though there is twice as much ink as Mendenhall’s, Johnson’s, or Timmons’. Add in the fact that his auto looks like a big penis, and you have a new inductee into the Autolic Test Fail HOF.

This is the best auto of his I could find. There are ones that are MUCH worse.

The Plight Of The Player Collector

Posted on 03/13/2009 by gellman

Sometimes, players you love go through a pretty radical change, and you are forced to adapt collecting habits to fit it. Either they get traded, they go to jail, or in some cases they switch their auto or something about their allegiance to the collecting public. It really sucks for the player collector in many of these instances because you are either left with a player on a team you don’t like, or nothing if they go to jail. With the auto, a very important part of player collector’s collection, you have to adapt, especially if it goes from one of the most expressive to a give up.

First I want to talk about a trade or free agency. With a trade, it wasn’t anything the player did directly (most of the time) that you have to deal with, and it can be tough to figure out what to do. Free agency is player directed, but the result is the same. If you are that player’s collector, but didn’t live in the city he was from, or had no ties to the team, it should be easy to swtich things up. You may have to put up with mismatched swatches for a year or two, but generally things are fine. If you have a tie to the team AND the player, it’s a completely different story.

Lets use KG as an example, because I think he could fall into a few of these categories. KG was my favorite player on the Timberwolves, duh, and both free agency and a trade were possible at one point. There were probably a lot of KG fans outside of MN, so it wasn’t as big a deal for them. KG gets traded to one of my least favorite teams, and I am stuck with team allegiance to the wolves, but signed memorabilia from a Celtic. I ended up letting both player and team allegiances stand and kept my stuff, but that didn’t mean I didn’t try to get rid of it a few times out of anger.

With Jail, it’s the other side of the pillow altogether. With those types of situations, its tough to like or collect a guy that is a bad enough person to do something requiring jail time. At that point, you might be stuck, it may be time to fold it up and move on with your collection.

For this ill use Michael Vick, because he seems to be at the forefront of all of this, and he has a lot of people who collect him. If you look at his stuff, he went from being one of the more valuable players to someone with little to no value. The falcons quickly moved on to Matt Ryan, which gave falcons collectors someone to bank on from here on out. The Vick people, well, they are out of luck.

As for people and their auto, for us second worlders, this is key. I could love Chris Johnson all the live long day, but I am never going to get a card that is worth my time. For that matter alone, many people may avoid him. I know it would be tough for me to collect a guy with as much of a give up auto as that is. What makes it a slap in the face partially, is that he signs much more completely on the certified stuff I see on eBay. If you can sign for people face to face, but you cant do it on cards, I think it says something about what you think about collecting. Again, that isnt necessarily a bad thing, a la Dirk Nowitzki signing TTM, but its not necessarily a good thing either.

Peterson recently switched from a full auto to a give up, and for people like me, its tough collecting decision to make. My gut says that the give up isnt as good and I shouldn’t buy it, but my collecting tendencies make me want to go after new stuff. Funny enough, about six months ago, I got an email from someone saying this was going to happen, and I shrugged it off at the time. I think from now on, ill stay away from his give ups on stickers, but make an exception with on card shit. Sadly, he has also switched his IP auto as well, which makes me question what he was thinking.

Personally, its really about how much you are willing to tolerate. If Peterson wasn’t a Viking, I probably wouldn’t collect as much, but that is the nature of the NFL. Its become expected that players wont stay with their team their whole career. Its also pretty much expected that eventually players will develop a primadonna attitude and give up on the fans. There are always awesome stories, but more than a few times players have become enemies of the collector before becoming a sympathizer. Hopefully every door that the players close, somewhere they open a window.