Category Archives: triple turds

My Thoughts On The Ultimate Patches

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There have been a lot of swirling rumors about the recent jumbo patches in Ultimate Collection, mainly stemming from the patches actual use in games. Many of the questions have come from people with a background in game used jerseys of older baseball players, and those people are bringing up some very valid points as to where the patches are coming from.

After the solidifcation of the rumors surrounding the counterfeit yu-gi-oh cards, people are quick to jump to conclusions on the recent release, especially when conspiracy is brought up. The general feeling is in relation to the fact that creating counterfeit gaming cards is not far off from creating counterfeit patches in baseball cards. Despite the fact that Upper Deck did admit to creating fakes, I doubt they would risk fake patches with all the ways it could come back to bite them. There are just too many experts out there, and way too many avenues of creating a problem if they were discovered. Does that mean it isnt possible? No, but it definitely makes it a little more than improbable that this is the truth behind the curtain.

Obviously, the top draws in the set are players like Ted Williams and Roberto Clemente, and the problem stems from the makeup of the patches. According to these people, its mostly the way the swatches in Ultimate compare to game used jerseys that people know to be game used. What the “experts” are saying is that these jerseys were not from the timeframe specified because of the way they are stitched, as well as the material of the jersey. Their prediction is that the jerseys are from old timer games and from situations like that, to which many people are echoing their sentiments. Personally, after reading a lot about this subject, I have to agree with the people who know their stuff. However, I don’t think that it completely damns UD into a new realm of deception. That’s where I differ on this.

The reason I have this belief comes from two specific products that are NEVER blasted despite obvious correlations. The first is Topps Triple Threads, and the second is Topps Sterling. Both are heralded products among the legally blind portion of our hobby, despite the fact that its obvious that the same type of swatches are used, with language on the card that is even more vague than UD’s. Im sure you all have seen the stark white swatches on many of the cards from those sets over the years, but no one seemed to care about it. I guess when you arent screwing the pooch every other week, people overlook things.

In fact, the language on the back of a Triple Threads cards reads that the swatches are not from any specific game or season, while the Upper Deck says that they are used “in a game.” From these statements, its easy to see that the companies are leaving the door open for jerseys used outside a regular season MLB game. Although I don’t support or buy cards like that, others have never had a problem buying both Triple Threads or Sterling despite this terribly worded statement on the back.

To that, I say, if you have a problem with player worn versus game worn, don’t buy the Williams or Clemente cards. If you don’t, go right ahead. For the other players, im sure the cards are real, yet if you don’t feel comfortable buying them, that’s up to you. This is the joy of competition, and I am sad that exclusivity has gotten to this point in the hobby.

The Creeping Death Of Foldout Cards

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I cant stand booklet cards. I just hate everything about them. Its pretty obvious that my hatred for Topps Triple Turds has something to do with it, but it extends far into this year’s preview for 2009 Exquisite Football. It is a completely needless innovation, it looks awful, and most of the time, its just Topps looking for extra places to spell out weird shit with swatch windows.

The onslaught of the foldout cards started in 2007 Triple Threads, when Topps decided that one card wasn’t enough room to stuff their relics into. They created hinged cards where the outside alerted the collector that they had pulled some “OMG SIZCKZ MOJOZ!!” and the inside was where the neon foilboard magic happened. In the product, there were one player hinged cards, and multi player hinged cards, all with the goal of trying to have a little more room to spell out that incosequential phrase.

In 2008, Topps went a step further, introducing their famed visual laxative “Triple Threads XXIV.” For this card version of 2 girls 1 cup, they threw design and layout to the wind in order to shoehorn 24 different windows onto the two cards. This meant little room for player pictures or common reading practices, as many of the cards required some major deduction skills to read.

These cards extended into other sets as well, including the horrid Topps Sterling baseball and other high end fare. Collectors who cared little about the way a card looks and more about getting “relics” of their favorite players went nucking futs for these cards, while a vocal minority group of people scoffed at them. Due to Topps’ notorious reputation of cutting up jerseys from old timer games and exhibitions, cards like the booklets held little value for people with eyes.

Fast forward to 2009, where booklet cards have continued their Sherman March into the hobby. In 2008-2009 Exquisite Basketball, the booklet cards made their mainstream upper deck debut, to much fanfare. These “upper-deckers” were little more than glorified triple threads foldouts, even though they were signed on card and very low numbered. Topps even took it a step further to stay ahead of the wave, introducing cards that were tri-hinged for extra vomit, and cards hinged vertically rather than horizontally.
Being a part of that vocal minority, I have voiced my opinion quite a bit on the existence of foldouts. Oddly enough, some of those collectors with relic manifest destiny on the brain have started complaining to. The main reason is that these cards are very hard to protect without paying 20 bucks on ebay for a custom holder. Add in that jerry rigging a holder out of two top loaders doesn’t give you complete coverage, and there is a larger problem at bat here. Yes, I realize its only a matter of time before one touch comes out with something, but until then, I will laugh heartily at the people who chase these hobby versions of the people of Wal Mart.

See, I am not a person who cares how many pieces of jersey you can stuff onto a card, no matter if its game or event used. I want to see cards that look good. Most of the time, these foldouts are created for the sole purpose of tickling the testicles dangling from the collectors who live and die for jersey cards, not those who care about design and content. I also think it’s a good reason why these rare cards, even when autoed, hardly eclipse the price of a simple and elegant single jersey auto or patch. Hopefully this gimmick will go the way of the atomic refractor very quickly, though its not looking good at this point. As long as Joe Collectors outnumber those of us who don’t scream “LAST PACK MOJO!” everytime we bust a box, things will continue as is. All I can say is bring on the boredom, ill stick with my old favorites.

Worst of the Worst 2004-2009 #3 – 2007-2009 Topps Triple Threads

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Everyone knows how much I absolutely despise Triple Threads, but it only made it to number 3 on this list. That’s how bad the top two are. In my opinion, this shit house of a product is one of the longest running crap fests in the history of the hobby, stemming from 2007 through 2009. Usually, if a product is bad, they dump it before losing face on another year’s worth of bad cards. Not so with Triple Threads. This product has somehow built a following with Joe Collectors hobby wide, who have cared more about how many “relics” and stickers you can stuff onto a card than how it looks when its done. In fact, many of them consider it to be the best product ever made. How they have kidded themselves into thinking that is beyond me.

First, lets start with the format, because this is where most of the JCs even have problems with this product. For the price you would normally spend on a box of a vastly superior product, Triple Threads gives you absolutely nothing. Your first hit is a triple jersey card, most of which are from back end rookie premiere players, or oddly comboed triads of “related subjects” (I use the term related loosely). These cards are usually one color swatches of material “not from any specific game or season.” These cards can sell for less than the cost of some of the base parallels, and rarely get you back any of the cost of the 100 dollar MSRP pack. Your second hit is an auto, which over 75 percent of the time will be a crap rookie. This means “getting Simpson’ed” runs rampant in this product, more than any other product of this cost bracket. Just for comparison, here are some other products and their cost, and how they relate to this product:

Topps Triple Threads 170 dollars, 1 auto, mid range resale value

SP Authentic – 120 dollars, 3 autos, high resale value
Leaf Limited – 80 dollars 1-3 autos, mid range resale value
Ultimate Collection – 80 dollars, 1 auto, mid range resale value
Leaf Certified Material – 80 dollars, 1-2 autos, mid range resale value
Topps Chrome – 50 dollars 1-2 autos, mid to low range resale value

When you look at it that way, things get crazy. Topps Chrome uses better designs, the same stickers, and people love it, yet the box costs less than half of what a Triple Threads box costs. The format of this product is ridiculous and justifies a spot on this list, but wait! There’s more!

The design of this product is one of the worst in the industry, year to year. Since 2007, the cards have changed so little that some people cant tell the difference between an older card and a newer one. The layout that Topps’ design team chooses is always a combination of neon colored rainbow foil, huge swatch windows diecut with odd words and phrases, tiny player pictures, and foil auto stickers that are recessed into the actual design of the card. Yes, despite being a high end product, Topps still wants us to look directly at the gaudy foil sticker.

I havent even started with the fold out cards, which have proven to be the worst part of this worst of the worst set. Because Topps couldn’t find enough room on one card for their junk, they needed find a way to STUFF more crap onto an extra card that is connected to the first one. Actually, there are now TRI-fold cards in this years product because two werent sufficient. Wow. Don’t even ask about some of the weird ass phrases they try to confusingly spell out with die cut windows. More space = more confusion for these.

Then we have parallels. So many parallels that I cant even name them all off. They all have their own neon foilboard color, and some even spell out more stupid shit. Each card has at least 10 parallel versions, 4 printing plates, a 1/1, and as many prime versions. Each player can have up to 4 different designs for the set, and when the top level is as high as /199, things can get fucking crazy.

If this was a contest for worst product of the year, Triple Threads would be at the top year after year. Its just the worst product ever conceived for a long run in the industry. Sadly enough JCs buy and melt for this product that it should continue in Baseball, but luckily for us, football is done after this year. Maybe Topps will put out one last set just to fuck with me. Funny enough, this set spawned the golden rule of Topps. This is what started it all.

I actually wish I had the intellectual fortitude to continue writing about this product, but it is so bad that I am choking down the remains of my breakfast from two hours ago. I can only imagine what I will have to go through for the set up next.

Triple Threads Continues To Fail

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Take a look, take a good hard look and see if you can spot the mistake.

I saw this mentioned over on FCB, and I couldnt help but laugh. Seriously, how pissed would you be if you pulled a card like this and then saw that the front borders were meant for another player? I would fucking flip a shit. Aside from being fucking ugly, this card is VERY valuable due to what it contains. The problem for this guy is that Jonathan Stewart will haunt him for the rest of his life.

It does make me wonder though, does the Stewart one have a Stafford front?

I Hate Printing Plates. So Much.

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I have always criticized the use of printing plates in a high end product. They are ugly, they are worthless to many people, and most of all, they are still considered to be 1/1s that really arent 1/1s. Basically if you are producing a base product, and you want to include printing plates for shits and giggles, fine. But if you expect me to spend more than 100 dollars a box for this piece of shit that you call a case hit, you gotta be fucking kidding me.

We all are very familiar with the culture of the 1/1, as everyone in the hobby craves them like the Heroin dragon. They will do anything for a shot at a one of a kind card of any player, let alone their favorites. The problem is that many times, the Printing Plates are inserted in place of true and worthy 1/1s, and that leaves me with a very bitter taste in my mouth.
There is also another dimension to the plates, as the auto ones can usually never contain a hard signed signature. 99% of the time, they are sticker autos on an ugly plate, and that is just a complete cop out. Hell, Upper Deck puts them into Exquisite and the Cup, and that is pretty much the most inexcusable of all. Why would anyone fucking care about a used piece of thin scrap metal with a reverse negative of a player they cant identify for 500 plus per pack? Thats just plain stupid.
Lastly, I just hate seeing stale ideas run rampant akin to levels of Lavelle Hawkins autos in SP Signature Edition. Printing Plates are a very stale idea, and yet they are present in just about every single product. There are even products that frame the plates inside bordered cards in an effort to make them look better. Then you have a product like Triple Threads, who actually designates them as the top pulls of the product. Why? As if the design wasnt bad enough, now we have to get cards with all the elements of a normal hit, but a priting plate front. How terrible can that get? Obviously pretty bad.
If printing plates went away, the only people who would care are those people so desperate to pull a 1/1, that they run around the store screaming “MOJO!!!!!!!!!!!” at the top of their lungs when they pull one. To that, many of the informed collectors out there know that some of the best cards of any player are not 1/1s, and I agree with that 100%. Although my Mauer, Harvin, and Peterson collections are full of cards, none of them are one of a kind. Some of them are low numbered, but I dont care if I have the only card in existence. I just want one that looks cool. Printing plates have never been that, and never will be.