Usually I hate reading about baseball through ESPN or whatever magazine there is, unless its through Baseball Prospectus. Usually pieces are written for entertainment purposes and contain nothing but useless stats and ugly conjectures about what is actually happening. Over at yahoo, Jeff Passan is the worst of the worst in some cases. In fact, his cliches are so bad, I have to keep a bucket by my keyboard to catch stray puke particles.

Today is just as bad as ever, especially with his ridiculous article about Joe Mauer, sports god. He talks for a good 1000 words about how Mauer is good at bowling, golf, and well, pretty much everything. He even goes as far as saying his swing is “as pure as morning dew.”

Are you kidding? This guy is the face of yahoo baseball?

Either way, Mauer is having a great season, leading the league in pretty much every stat that actually does matter. Feel free to check Baseball Prospectus for me on that one, im not smart enough on Sabremetrics to write about it. Then again, Passan doesnt focus on that, he focuses on Mauer’s rapping ability, even to the point of asking Kevin Slowey if Mauer is a good dancer. You know what? I dont fucking care, and Passan needs to be a little more selective on his story subjects. I mean, when was the last time a Catcher, coming off one of a bad off season, comes back a month into the season and does what Mauer has done? I think his EqA speaks for itself, as well as his win share percentage. DJ Jazzy Joe is ridiculous, and not because he can rhyme like fiddy cent.

Who’s glad he bought a ton of Mauer stuff when it was cheap?

*Raises Hand*