After seeing Panini taking their normal bowel movement on the Certified preview today, it reminded me I still have a few other dookies I have to talk about. Certified is fucking terrible, but it has absolutely nothing on how much of a disaster Gala Football is.
After a DISMAL performance on the NBA side, combined with a desperate need for products to fill their insanely oversaturated product calendar, Panini settled on bringing Gala to football. Its so bad I have no words. Yes, I “just cant even.” Its true, when talking about Gala, I have been reduced to a high school girl talking about her ex boyfriend on Facebook.
Here is what the finished cards look like in Basketball:
2014-15 Gala Dikembe Mutombo Silver Screen Autograph
2014-15 Gala Harrison Barnes Cinematic Signatures
2014-15 Gala Kyrie Irving Starring Role Auto
2014-15 Gala Tony Parker Award Winner Auto
The theme of the set is the beginning of our journey into darkness, as Panini has chosen to use movies and Hollywood type elements to build around. Not only are they so odd that they illicit a laugh, but the design doesnt do them any favors. Are we really supposed to think that Starring Role Signatures is something people will want in their 180 dollar box? I guess Panini’s product team sure thinks its the answer to everyone’s problems. Who needs razor thin margins when you can have COMING ATTRACTIONS MEMORABILIA AND ACTION AUTOGRAPHS! Im not kidding, they actually named a set “Action Autographs.” It sounds like a name that is used as a placeholder while you think up the real name for the set.
Continuing into the design of the rest of the cards, the looks range from blah to train wreck, including the standard usage of acetate, which they cant make a product without. Why they decided this was worth continuing to produce is beyond me, but like I mentioned before, they are HURTING for ideas.
Bottom line, this product is like watching a bad movie. One that is almost deliberately bad. This is the Sharknado 3 of the hobby, and that isnt singing the cult classic song the way SyFy wants us to with their purposefully bad movies.
If you buy a box of Gala, my thoughts are with your family. I honestly have no clue what the fuck they were thinking. Great job NFL, thanks for dooming us to the dark ages of Panini garbage.
“After seeing Panini taking their normal bowel movement on the Certified preview today for….”
That is the best opening line I have read on any trading card in my life. And the most accurate.
I would call this product complete dog shit, but then I would feel bad every time I take my dog for a walk. Dog shit doesn’t deserve to be compared to this product. This product should only be shown with mug shots of James Brown and Gary Busey. I give up on football.
I opened one box of Gala and got an Ezekiel Elliot autograph redemption and a Laremy Tunsil auto along with two other hits. (One was a Funchess, I think). Why does everyone hate this product?