For as long as I can remember, Absolute has been a complete crime scene. Horrible format, horrible content, all around garbage. It has been a laughing stock among the industry circles with some pretty clever nicknames I have heard thrown around. Yet, like many dead Panini brands, it is trotted out each year with fanfare. Sometimes I just feel bad for them. Yes, we have gotten to the point where I pity their stupidity.

Here are some of the bigger hits up so far:

2014 Panini Absolute Odell Beckham Auto Quad Relic /20

2014 Panini Absolute Mike Evans Tools of the Trade Auto Relic

2014 Panini Absolute Teddy Bridgewater Tools of the Trade Auto Relic

2014 Panini Absolute Joe Namath Absolute Ink Auto – only Panini would name a sticker auto set “Absolute Ink.”

2014 Panini Absolute Johnny Manziel Auto Relic

That being said, it doesnt look bad this year, and I am shocked. From a design perspective, I actually like the way this product looks down to many of the worst offenders from previous years. Not only did they get rid of the horrid fucking die cut letters that I cant stand, but they did a great job making the card dynamic. That scares me some, because it almost gives Panini another reason to put another year behind this dumpster fire.

Unlike previous incarnations of Absolute, design isnt the issue with 2014. There are so many glaring issues with format and content that it almost renders the rest of the product moot. At 150 dollars a box, with 2 autos and a bunch of crappy jersey cards, you are asking for trouble. Who might those two autos be? In just about every box I have seen, its a mix of sticker dump checklist bombs like Aaron Dobson, Da'Rick Rogers and Joseph Fauria, or a rookie scrub that will sell for 2 bucks. Since Panini doesnt seem to get that junk relic cards sell worse than junk these days, it sets everyone up to bend over and spread their cheeks.

The other issue is that as many as 2 boxes out of the case will have what looks to be a 150 point card in them. Seriously. You read that right. They are putting point cards in boxes that cost over 100 bucks a box. As someone said on twitter, it takes talent to make people hate points cards more than redemptions. Its even worse when you can also pull 150 point cards in Score. Dont charge me for a sports car and deliver a lemon hatchback. That’s what is happening here. Its despicable and disgusting to see the way the boxes perform.

I usually make my criteria based on design first, but it is just too hard to ignore how bad these cases and boxes are looking. Design almost doesnt matter. Scary shit people. This is the company that is going to be the only game in town. Im going to keep saying that in my posts, because I need that to sink into your brains right now. Good god.